I definitely won’t be posting everyday about my personal, no reason but because I eat too much cheese challenge to eliminate dairy from my diet but figured it wouldn’t be too douchey to post an update after the first two days.

The verdict: I gotta say that minus the one close call with a Dark Chocolate and Sea Salt Kind bar (it stupidly contains milk powder), I haven’t had too hard of a time. From my very limited vantage point and short time in the dairy-free game – it seems that there are a reasonable amount of options for everyday foods for those that can’t or choose not to eat dairy.

Yesterday and today I had yogurt made with almond milk – not bad – the consistency was a little strange but it was a fair substitue.

I’ve switched from Brummel and Brown Yogurt Spread to Smart Balance and it’s good.

I also had some Almond Milk pudding and am excited to try coconut ice cream.

My friend Sammi is a great resource as is everything she puts up at Dairy-Free State. But if you’ve ever tried going dairy free and have some tips – let me know.

I’m assuming that it will only get harder but … so far so good.

Two days in and still smiling.


“Hey Tony, what you doing for lunch today?”

“Dominating a grilled cheese at any one of the 43 places near here that will put as much cheese as possible on bread and smother it with honey mustard. ”

“Oh, cool. I’lll grab a salad.”

This is one reason that I’m taking a break from dairy. I eat too much of it. I rely on it. It’s a comfort zone that’s not healthy in the quantities in which i ingest it and it’s a crutch that prevents me from eating foods that are a lot better for me.

It also makes me feel a little off. Nearly every morning I eat a greek yogurt. After I eat that yogurt I feel in between not great and terrible. It goes away after a short time but … it’s stil not a desirable feeling.

And lastly, my friend Joel wrote this blog post on eliminating dairy and wheat from your diet which is another motivating factor.

The plan for now is to eliminate dairy (not vegan, as I’ll still eat eggs) for a month to see if I feel any better. If I don’t, I’ll decide how much I miss it. I find it hard to believe that I’ll never eat a piece of cheese again or have a glass of chocolate milk or worse yet – have a Blizzard on a hot summer day but, we’ll see.

Bought a house / love the fresh water coming through the walls in the basement

Got a job downtown /  love the walk to and from the parking ramp

Started running regularly / love the weight its put on

Became a vegetarian / love the deficiencies

Woke up at 2:45, 3:44, 4:41, and 5:08 / Smiling

(all to a hip hop beat – fresh to death)

We hit rock bottom on a Sunday.

Or maybe I should say I hit rock bottom on a Sunday.

Blankets were pulled.

Light was exposed.

And anguish was expressed.

On a Sunday.

At the beginning of each week, eyes are just starting to open –

fussy; confused; self-absorbed and self-loathing; inferior; lost

sometimes failing to fully awaken until Tuesday.


Sometimes eyes will fail to fully awaken without prying or coaxing from outside sources.

But still.

This cycle of starting and reinventing, regularly.

It’s repetitious. It’s vile. It’s defeatist.

But it is breakable.

Everything’s breakable if you break it:


At rock bottom, you have no choice but to break. Break the process of constantly trying to reinvent yourself. Break the process of trying to constantly reinvent your fragility. Break the process of constantly trying to reinvent time. And break the process of constantly trying to reinvent space.

At high doses, those processes are all detrimental.

At rock bottom you can’t go any lower. All of the things, covering you – you’ll have to break to be able to move upward.


March 2, 2013 — Leave a comment

It was late and Manhattan wasn’t going to wait for us to wake up.

We stumbled off the train – a few puffs of smoke left in our lungs and perfectly disheveled hair that made us look like we were comfortable with our anxiety.

Steps weren’t getting any easier as we climbed up the numbered streets that had been known to eat men alive and leave their dreams full of blood splattered hands.

Struggling to find a reason to try, we caught the F and headed home.

Out in the Street

February 17, 2013 — Leave a comment

As kids, we grew up in a city that we swore was suburbia. Nearly every street had a few houses with a kid or two that was missing their front teeth.

There were kids we knew well and kids we’d wish we’d known but they lived a few steps further than we were allowed to go.

In college, I kissed a girl that grew up three houses away and across the street from my hooligan third grade best friend that would get the belt harder from his old man than most of us got it. And that girl, the one I kissed, lived there since she was a baby. She went to private school and wasn’t very smart.

All of us friends,
we’d play twilight baseball during the school year in whoever’s yard had the shortest grass and
quadruple headers in the summer – only taking breaks to eat peanut butter sandwiches and push ups.

We all had good looking babysitters that made, even though it didn’t matter how good it was, the best macaroni and cheese out of a box we ever had.

That neighborhood isn’t suburbia anymore. Or maybe it never was. But our laughter and crooked smiles still breathe in the air and live underneath the sod in those backyards.

I spent the summer of 2001 in disguise; getting lost in nicotine clouds, tapping my feet to stand up bass lines, and peeling 30 cents off stickers off of hard packs of Old Golds.

With my oxygen depleting as much as the oil in my beat up Toyota; I spent countless hours hating my job and failing to figure out what kind of man it takes to appreciate peaty scotch;

Writing on napkins and not sleeping;

Falling in love.

We walk in and out of bars

every night.

We walk out of and into bars

every night.


Every night we walk in and out of bars.

Every night we walk out of and into bars.


And every one of those nights-

you fail to realize how amazing those walks


the ones where we walk in and out of bars,



The glow.

The stale smoke that no longer lingers.

The promise of laughs / broken.


Connecting the dots the past two weeks, I’ve concluded you’re pregnant again. You’ve been smoking a lot. Eating glass. And worse yet, diet soda. Seriously, do you have any fucking idea how bad diet soda is for you? I mean, punish yourself however you want to but diet soda is an extreme I never imagined you would’ve entertained.

“Guess what? Totally not with child. Just upset over gaining weight. Guess I’ll continue slow death from diet soda.”

Top 5 Albums of 2012

January 4, 2013 — 1 Comment

Better late than never.

#5 Spiritualized | Sweet Heart, Sweet Light [Fat Possum]

Multilayered space rock. Back in action, Spiritualized’s Sweet Heart, Sweet Light takes you on a trip around the solar system.


#4 Grizzly Bear | Shields [Warp]

Amazing follow up to Veckatimest. Every track on Shields builds a sonic city for you to explore. It’s quite lovely.

Grizzly Bear | Shields Cover Art

#3 Jaill | Traps [Sub Pop]

I had Jaill’s second Sub Pop release bleeding from my car speakers all Spring and Summer. Not a skipper on it.

Jail | Traps Cover Art

Tie for #2 King Tuff s/t [Sub Pop] &

Two albums that I recommended the most last year are hard  to put at #2 but …. #1 is that damn good. King Tuff’s s/t 2012 release will be in my rotation for a very long time. Much like #3, there’s not a track on this album that doesn’t make you move. It’s scuzzy, it’s dancey, and it’s T-Rex-y.Amazing live show taboot.

King Tuff s/t cover art

Woods | Bend Beyond [Woodsist]

Woods consistently puts out records that mean a lot to me for one reason or another. They always skim the surface of my conscience lyrically and musically they’re complex but simple just the same. Vocally unique as well. The cassette for this album kept me company as I lugged stuff from my old apartment to my new house in September. It’ll always be special for that reason!

Woods | Bend Beyond Cover Art

#1 Tame Impala | Lonerism [Modular]

Sonic masterpiece that’s so good it may give you a complex. Tame Impala’s LONERISM is a parasitic boomerang. It feeds on your psyche and the rest of your music collection.  It’s a maze that you think you’ve navigated to the end of but find yourself back at the beginning. Try to move away from it as much as you can with other sounds, but it’ll somehow creep back into your speakers. Headphones not required but recommended.

Tame Impala | Lonerism Cover Art