Connecting the dots the past two weeks, I’ve concluded you’re pregnant again. You’ve been smoking a lot. Eating glass. And worse yet, diet soda. Seriously, do you have any fucking idea how bad diet soda is for you? I mean, punish yourself however you want to but diet soda is an extreme I never imagined you would’ve entertained.
“Guess what? Totally not with child. Just upset over gaining weight. Guess I’ll continue slow death from diet soda.”