You Don’t Exist.

November 30, 2011 — 2 Comments

“What’ya mean you’re gonna pass on the award? If anyone deserves it, you do. I mean, after all you’ve done for everyone and everything and the this and the that you’ve taken the time to handle with the kids and the elderly and the sick and you visited my grandmother and brought flowers to the wounded and somehow managed to donate more of your time to the this and to the that.

Seriously. C’mon!”

“Have you ever woke up and looked around your room. You know, the room that you have spent the last 5, 10, 15 or more years in. Rolled over on the same side of the bed that has been yours since you changed your habits and decided that it would be better if you had someone next to you at all times. Let go of the pillow you clench as a stand in for your childhood blanket>Teddy Bear>baseball mitt. And then realized that you have absolutely no idea who you are?

“If you’ve never felt that, I pray that you won’t ever have to. That alone might be the scariest feeling you will ever have.

“And right, that feeling can be terrifying. It’ll freak you out. Or you can decide, after a short or long deliberation, that that feeling might mean something bigger.  Maybe then you realize that there isn’t really a you. You don’t know who you are because you really don’t exist. For one reason or another, the you that did exist (if it did) doesn’t anymore and you have to do things to make other people feel important or wanted or needed or good. You exist for others.

“There’s no reward for being you.

“And if there is, I just don’t want it.

“Give it to someone that needs it.”

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2 responses to You Don’t Exist.

  1. 

    I’m a little confused with the dialogue here. You need a set of quotation marks at the beginning of each paragraph if the second person is speaking all of them aloud.

  2. 

    I must have overlooked that. Thanks for pointing that out!

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