Seen at Phish | UIC Pavilion – Chicago, IL | August 15, 16, 17

This is not a review. These are simply my observations.

It’s no secret that I like Phish. I’ve been to some pretty awesome places because of them over the last 15 years and I have in turn seen some very cool stuff while following them around. But trust me, this past week in Chicago I saw (and heard) some things that I’ve never seen at a Phish show before. It’s always a great time and this time was no different. But….

• “Take it to the fucking gutter”

For some reason, on night two, in the encore, during “Heavy Things” of all songs, some dude no more than 3 inches from my right ear just started shouting “take it to the fucking gutter.” I’m not sure if I’m out of touch with what’s going on on television or in forums, but, yeah, never heard someone repeat that phrase over and over before.

But, while it was bit annoying, Gentle John and I had a lot fun shouting “take it to the fucking gutter” to random passers by, waitresses, bartenders, and cab and bus drivers for the rest of our Chicago stay. Our logic-maybe if we put the phrase out there to enough people, someone would tell us what it was from.

• That’s not water…or cream soda

Night one, not really sure what caused me to turn my head but, when I did I caught a 2 second glimpse of some tool pissing in his water bottle. Now, I’m not sure why this upset me so much, but I was totally dumbfounded. Maybe I was afraid that we’d get Hep C or that this dude would brush up against me or maybe I was upset that I spent 15 minutes in the bathroom line missing Alumni Blues>Letter to Jimmy Page>Alumni Blues.

Now, while the bathroom situation was out of control and definitely a hazard for many, this kid is just an idiot. Get clue, fucker.

• My mom got me this floor ticket, left me with $ for coke

“Dude, I lucked out big. One of my mom’s clients asked her if she knew anyone that wanted a floor ticket for Phish at UIC. Best gift ever.”

This is a conversation that I overheard during setbreak one of the nights. I thought it was cool that a kid’s mom got him Phish tickets. I was touched even. That all went away when this dude opened up his pack of Parliaments, grabbed a cig out along with a bag a powder, and then proceeded to pour the powder into the recessed part of the filter. He inserted in his nose and then did the same for his dirty buddy. Winning and spinning.

Well, at least these kids had a good time and their hearts didn’t explode. I’ve never seen two kids dance around that much when there wasn’t anything to dance to. If you’re into this sort of thing, look for “dipped” Parliaments on a lot near you.